Agents of the Fifth Estate

Well who’d have thought it would have ended like this for Michael Jackson? A cardiac arrest just like a normal person. Nah, that can’t be the truth.

Let the conspiracy theories begin. I can assure you over the next couple of days/months you will read/hear the most inane, insane and moronic theories about the death of the King of Pop.

Let me make some up right now so you can be warned. Here are some theories that will probaby be among the mildest of what is to come:

1) Michael Jackson died years ago. Hence he looks so different and hasn’t written a good song in years.

2) Michael Jackson has faked his own death so he can live in the Philippines. With some boys.

3) Michael Jackson had too much debt and has got his closest aides to kill him for insurance money.

There you go. Three random theories I just made up. Expect to read much crazier shit over the next few days.

And brace yourself for beyond Princess Diana levels of mawkish grief from mental people. And many interviews from Uri Geller. Already I am watching a statement from the Rev Al Shapton eulogising Michael Jackson. He vaguely referred to the singer as maybe having ’shortcomings’. Maybe that would be the multiple child abuse charges or the baby dangling or, hell who knows. Who cares when it looks like a Jade Goody x1000 mythologising is in progress.

The biggest circus in Pop histry is preparing itself for a suitable denoument.

Anyone remember that revolution in Iran… ?

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